Having a baby is one of the most amazing things we as women can do, and is one of the most wonderful things we are able to experience. However, that doesn’t mean having a baby doesn’t come with its downsides, shall we say. The thing is, when you have a baby, your body changes dramatically, along with your lifestyle, which can leave you with a lack of confidence in not just the way you look but how you feel. From your weight to your skin, a lot of changes come with having a baby, all of them worth it, of course! But combined with a lack of sleep and little time for yourself, being a new mum can have a big impact on your self-esteem.
The good news is that getting your pre-baby confidence back isn’t as hard as you would think, it’s just a case of making some time for yourself. As a mum, I’ve been there, and I know what it’s like to feel like a mess 24/7 (I still have my moments). So I thought I would share a few tips for getting your confidence back after having a baby.
Having a baby is physically and emotionally draining, which is why you should take some time out to pamper yourself. Book yourself into a spa for a day of relaxation with massages, a facial, and a manicure. If you don’t feel ready to leave your little one yet, that’s okay as there are lots of spas that offer mum and baby experiences. Or, perhaps you could ask a friend to come along to so she could watch your little one while you get pampered in between feeds! After a massage, a new hairdo, and some pretty nails, you’ll feel much better about yourself. It’s amazing how much more confident you can feel after being pampered and having your hair and nails done. Pampering yourself doesn’t have to mean a day at the spa, you could equally just make time for yourself in the day, get a friend or relative over to watch the baby whilst you lie down, read a book, cook or catch up with friends. It’s just important to take some time to feel like you again, even if it’s just for a short time.
Treat yourself to some new bits and bobs
A great way to give your confidence a boost is by treating yourself to some new bits and bobs, such as some new clothes and makeup. If you don’t feel like you can face shopping, consider shopping online. Think about what you need, maybe some new clothes and makeup, books or music, and get searching. It’s amazing how much better you’ll feel when you’ve got some new clothes to wear and new makeup to use.
Do things that you love
One of the best ways to boost your confidence after having a baby is to get back to doing the things that you love. It’s amazing how much happier and more confident you’ll feel once you’re doing things you love again. Even a small amount of time spent on a hobby, catching up with current affairs, writing a journal can work wonders. Once the baby is a bit older, arrange a date night with your partner or a meal out with friends. Keep in mind this intense phase will pass and you will feel like yourself again, it’s just a matter of adjusting to the new normal you find yourself in. You will have less time to yourself, but when you do get it, you’ll appreciate it all the more.
Get out and about and keep active
Just because you’ve got a new baby, that doesn’t mean that you have to stay locked away at home. Get out and do things. See your friends, go to baby yoga classes, take the time to do the things that make you happy, and believe it or not, your confidence will rise. A little bit of exercise will raise the endorphin levels and lift your mood. A walk round the block with the baby in a buggy or carrier will help blow the cobwebs away. There are even some mum and baby exercise classes! All the baby classes like baby massage, sensory, music groups are more for you to get out and feel social again, with an added bonus that the baby benefits too!
Don’t compare yourself to others
There’s so much conflicting advice out there, try not to compare yourself too much to how everyone else is doing things. Use your instincts, and remember if you’re questioning yourself and second guessing yourself, you’re doing a good job as a parent! If we didn’t care about them we would just do it any old way, leave them in a corner and be done with it, but we don’t, we worry about every little thing, but this just means you’re a great parent. Research when you’re not sure about something and don’t be afraid to ask. Talk to other parents and listen to advice, then do what suits you and your family best, everyone and their dog has an opinion and won’t hesitate in telling you, but you’re the one in charge and if you’re well informed and are happy with how you do it then just smile and nod.
After having a baby, it’s natural to lose some of your confidence. However, getting it back doesn’t have to be difficult, it’s just a case of knowing how to go about it, remember a lot of other mums are feeling the same even if they appear to be more confident than you.
Written by Jenny Lord. Jenny also writes for Midwife and Life and The Huffington Post.